NOT the MotoGP News, #AustrianGP – It’s raining men… Hallelujah, they’re all okay

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The latest from our blogger Guy Anderson on a day of drama at the Red Bull Ring…


Well Spielberg, you’re a weird one and no mistook. Wide, long, straight and in Austria. Which is a funny place. Stunningly beautiful, but hardly on anyone’s list of places to go. We did actually go once, and every corner has a speed limit. Yep. Except the RedBull Ringenhausen. A lot of straight and very few corners.

Being very wide with long, long straights meant Moto3 was going to be fun. Look, it’s always fun, its just it gets even more entertaining when the track is this wide. We’re also pretty certain BTSport mentioned “slipstream city” within the first lap. Oh dear.

Anywho, Bertie Arenas is the series leader and he took the lead pretty damn quick. One of the scarier things about Moto3 is Binder The Junior. On the first lap he climbed 11 places! That’s gotta worry a lot of folk. Last week we got excited about Dennis “Pennis” Foggia. This week another Dennis grabbed our attention – Öncü. Okay, it’s spelt Deniz, but hey we’re not about to let that get in the way of our journalistic bent (what the actual are you waffling on about?!?! – Ed). Anyway, he was up at the sharp end for the first time this season. As it was ever thus, the lead swapped between riders more times than they swap girlfriends in a season. Which was entertaining. McPhee went from leading on lap 4 to 7th two laps later. Binder claimed a fastest lap and every kid out there was metaphorically trying to murder everyone else. Same shit, different day eh?

On lap eight Bertie Arenas picked up an “exceeding lap limits” warning, but it didn’t seem to phase him one bit. Whilst he was looking sharp at the front, his main title contenders (Ogura and McPhee) were down in 10th and 11th respectively. But we weren’t even halfway and that would surely change. If you want the Lottery numbers for next week, just screen shot any lap and chose the first bike numbers you spot. It is that random to say the least. Bloody entertaining though.

The only real trouble/awkward bit about the circuit is that it encourages overspill. No not some knuckle dragger knocking your socially-distanced pint over; the Moto3 boys get a bit carried away and take advantage of running wide too often. Sasaki was the first to cop an LLP (long lap penalty), and he dropped from 2nd to 18th then 21st. Painful. Then Lopez copped one too.

That wasn’t to be the end of it. Whilst Masia thought he was going to win with a great lead by Moto3 standards, Arenas mugged him on the last lap and took the win. Again. And the fun didn’t stop there either. The stewards decided John McPhee was a great lad, so they penalised Ogura, Binder and Vietti one position each. So, after crossing the line in 6th, McPhee was elevated to 3rd!

Brilliant we thought. Then we realised Moto2 was up next.

Remy Gardner had pole, but it was Jorge Martin who grabbed the short-lived lead and made a break for it. Marcel “Marceau” Schrotter hopped into second. As we said, “short lived.”
Lap four and it all went spectacularly wrong. Enea Basti had a low high-side (that’s not even possible – Ed) and dumped his bike in the middle of the track just over a blind crest. How anyone escaped serious injury is both a relief and a miracle. We suppose it’s one way of getting everyone to talk about Moto2 ahead of Moto3. Basti, Syahrin, Pons and Izdihar were all involved but all escaped serious ouchness. Phew. Red flag and restart for a 13-lap sprint.

Coming up to any corner, we noticed that Jorge Martin swings his leg like many do, but you could use his as a sidestand it’s that far out! Blimey. Marini and Martin made the best of the re-start and legged it. Schrotter was a distant and lonely third for the entire race. After all the excitement, it was all rather Moto2 to be honest. Jorge Martin took his maiden Moto2 win and looked good too. Sam Lowes and Bez had some sort of altercation either just before the chequered flag or just after it; handbags at 5 paces, but it spiced things up a little.

As for the main race, Viñales had pole. At last, we thought, he’ll do well. Well, Miller led and Dovi had part of his revenge slipping into second. Andrea isn’t a typical Italian. He’s as cool as they come and not one for flamboyancy. His resignation from Ducati stole their thunder and we’re not sure he’ll be forgiven, but who cares – he’s a top lad and a great rider. Pol Asparagus is the polar (If you try to claim that pun was intentional, no one will believe you – Ed) opposite of Dovi and this weekend he was determined to regain KTM’s top rider status. The 2020 KTM is a missile and no mistake; by lap 6 Pol was in the lead, and 2 laps later he posted the fastest lap. But the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune have a timing all of their own. If you thought the Moto2 crash was bad, the Zarco/Morbidelli coming-together was another thing all together. Vale; retire. It doesn’t get much closer than that. Viñales; wow, buy a lottery ticket. Yet again, everyone was just about okay, and able to walk. We can’t joke about this sort of thing, so if you’re looking for jokes, go watch F1.

Re-start, 20 laps and Pol got the lead after Turn 1. Here we go, he’s on it. But Miller re-took the lead and started to gap second place. Dovi in third. And hey, what’s this? Suzuki 4th and 5th! Excellent. Best ‘Onda? Nakagami-origami in 8th. Puig? Where are you buddy? Lap 9 and somehow Pol and Mir had a coming together. This was getting a tad daft. Next thing, Race Direction will be calling all the riders in to calm down just like Moto3.

Dovi took the lead in a revengeful way. All that annoyance at Gigi and Ducati and no ride for 2021, what better than a win. Sweet baby Jesus, he’s a cool rider. Meanwhile Viñales had slipped further and further back with what turned out to be a clutch problem. Still he beat the Repsol Hondas. That guy from last weekend? Brad. Yeah he finished fourth. Awesome

Apart from Alberto Puig, who needs Marc? Plenty of entertainment on show without him unbelievably.

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